3 Common Traits of Successful Relationships
The pieces of a successful relationship are fragmented, with sharp edges and none-to-gentle reminders of our own inadequacies.
A harmonious union takes work, a lot of introspection and time to compromise; there are no twelve week miracle programs to over-haul your love life. Considering this confronting formula, it’s difficult to find the starting point; it will be frustrating, heart wrenching even, if the dark coil of relationship discord has already wound around the core of your love. But it is possible. The traits of a healthy, happy couple are common sense really, are you willing to give them a shot?
What You Want…
Baby, you need it to go forward together. Aretha sung it best as she spelled out the bedrock of all successful relationships – whatever else you have to give, respect is essential to a healthy and conducive union.
Now, we’re not talking about the traditional, patriarchal notion of respect where the little woman obeys her husband; validation and role affirmation are not components of R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Instead, listen to one another, even if you’d sooner throw out your computer than agree or capitulate, finding it within yourself to truly value each other’s opinion and acknowledging their perspective as valid, will build a closer bond. Respect is also comprised of non-judgemental discussion, understanding, tenderness and acceptance of emotions, imperfections and preferences.
Lean On Me…
Encouraging your partner to chase their dreams and supporting their quest for the ultimate professional or personal bucket list will communicate that you trust and respect your partners’ right to explore their value as an individual. The full potential of a person is quashed when a partner is unwilling to step aside and act as a pillar of inspiration. Let them know you’re on their side, stay in the cheer-box and let them take control of their professional or social lives from the front, concentrating on your own list of goals. Dismissing your partner is an invitation to be discounted and rejected.
Yes, I Can. Yes, I Did.
Be accountable for your actions. Say yes, I made a mistake; yes, I was wrong. Both sexes have trouble admitting to fault, afraid that giving in or comprising will signal a weakness and wave the red flag, even if the charge is long off and reserved for a later date of sniping and starting.
Accepting you aren’t perfect is the first step to honestly assessing how you’re communicating with your partner – Did you use aggressive language? Do you intimidate and belittle? Do you exploit known buttons of contention to get a rise? If so, face yourself and consider how you’d feel if your partner reflected your behaviour – in fact, bad behaviour on both sides may be an occurrence of emotional projection, wherein partners reflect the negativity and ill treatment of the other, perpetuating the cycle. That said, you’re still accountable for your own side.
There is more than one way forward. How do you make your relationship work? Do you have any compromise tips you’d like to share with your fellow Googlers?